It is no secret that pop music isn’t trying too hard these days. Will.i.am has finally squeezed the last drop out of the “It’s Britney bitch” sample (which sucked to begin with), and I’m starting to find that I can’t really differentiate one monotonous, over-produced, shiny turd of a pop song from the next.
I know I know, that’s to be expected, right? The big-wigs in the music industry know all too well how uneducated their average listener is, which means they can easily produce sub-par “music,” slap Selena Gomez’s face on it, and people will eat. that. shit. up. This is not a new phenomenon, and until lately I’ve been able to roll my eyes and change the channel.
But what really, truly pisses me off is that it seems music execs aren’t even trying to hide the fact that they’re not trying. And this is manifesting itself in the form of pop songs with virtually no lyrics. NO LYRICS PEOPLE. Take for example Ms. Gomez herself, and her ear-bleed-inducing hit “Come and Get It.” The chorus lyrics are quite literally:
When you’re ready come and get it // na na na na // na na na na // na na na na // When you’re ready come and get it // na na na na // na na na na // na na na na // When your re eh eh eh eh eh eh eh // When your re eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh // When you’re ready come and get it // na na na na // na na na na // na na na…
Or perhaps the Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen collab “Good Time,” which was the catalyst for my close observation of this trend. Those groundbreaking lyrics are:
Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh oh // Woah oh oh oh oh it’s always a good time // Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh // We don’t even have to try it’s always a good time
They are even TELLING you, straight up, that they’re not even trying. Still don’t believe me? How about these little ditties from some of pop’s latest and greatest:
I live for the applause applause applause // I live for the applause plause live for the applause plause live for the // way that you cheer and scream for me // the applause applause applause
I didn’t mean to f*ck you over // I just want to have some fun // we can rock the world tonight // but no it doesn’t have to be love // la la la la la la la // la la la la la la la // oh oh oh oh // it doesn’t have to be love
And you’re gonna hear me roar or or or or ororor // roar or or or or ororor // Roar or or or ororor // you’re gonna hear me roar
So…what happened in there bud? Are you stuttering? Did your lyricist quit halfway through? Are you not paying them enough? Here’s a thought, if you have literally nothing to say, then maybe don’t write a song. Save the air space for someone who actually has some art to share with the world.
Moral of the story is that I expect more from my music, and so should you. And I have one thing to say to any artist who tries to patronize me by putting out a song of such little value:
Na na na na // na na na na // hey hey hey // GOODBYE.
Watch some of my favorite talented people have a hilarious reaction to some terrible music.